Officer Sawyer

LOCATION: IH-10 MP 664
DATE: 12/31/05
TIME: 8:13 PM
CONDITIONS: DRY, DARK
TRAFFIC: LIGHT
DIRECTION OF TRAVEL: WEST
VIOLATIONS: SPEEDING
SPEED LIMIT: 65
RADAR CAL: (Left Blank)
ALLEGED SPEED: 90

Are you fucking kidding me? My SUV is fully loaded with random crap I'm bringing back from Houston to San Antonio, and a bicycle is strapped to the back of my car. I am following Tiffany, who's driving 100 feet ahead of me and has her cruise control set on 70 mph. How in the world can I possibly be doing 90? My odometer reads 70 when the cop flashes his lights, so I pulled over.

Did you see my car back there Mr. Martinez? Yes sir I did, that's why I moved to the left lane, you were too close to the shoulder. Mmmmm....well, I "clicked" you at 90, you were going a little too fast (grim smile) I see, officer...Sawyer...I didn't realize I was going that fast. My odometer must be broken. Well, if you weren't going that fast I wouldn't have stopped you. (Well, that's funny, I say to myself, because if I ever go over 80 miles my car starts rattling and the wind sways it from side to side, if I reach 85 I'm about 1 mph away from rolling over. And I am in no hurry to make it home, and the car ahead of me is doing 70.) I see, well 90 is too fast officer. Yes it is, here's your ticket.

Thank you officer, Happy New Year, I hope the $196.00 dollars you're trying to get from me help your county meet its 2005 budget. Did I mention you "forgot" to include the Radar reading of my speed on the ticket? Did I mention I have a witness? See you in court bitch.

How to get a Mexican Visa - Day Four

Wake up early, as by now you must have learned, otherwise when you get to the consulate they may have run out of numbers. While you wait for them to open, treat yourself to a wonderful breakfast taco in the conveniently located taco-cart just across the street from the building.

By your fourth visit the security guards already know you (a plus, as you are probably aware, in high-context cultures such as the Mexican) and when the one guard you've never seen tells you to go to the end of the line, the one you have talked to for the past three days stops him and tells him: "let him through, he's here for a visa". You nod politely and mutter "gracias" as you shamefully cut in line and feel everyone's' eyes spitting fire as you walk past them... "go to window 12," the guard says.

This is the end of your amateur journey to the Mexican Consulate. You realize everyone else is on their first or second visit, and you know the ropes better than them. The "Visa" window is open and there is no line, while windows 1 through 11 and 13 through 20 display call numbers and the waiting room is full of people staring at their tickets, waiting for their number to be called.

You're greeted by a friendly consular Officer, who tells you that because you are a US resident you are exempt from the Visa requirement, nevertheless, he must issue a certificate showing the exemption. You must come back with a photocopy of your Passport, your Green Card, and a Credit Card. But wait - he says - you can do it across the street, where it's cheaper than next door, and come back immediately. Hold on to your number so that you can cut in line again. - Gracias, you reply one more time.

How expensive can one copy be? Next door is so convenient, let me try it there first. "Copies $1.50 e/a" reads the sign outside... Forget it, across the street they're 35 cents. Make your copy, cut in line, greet the man at the window one more time, watch him stamp a form seven times and sign it four more (talk about bureaucracy, thank God he was having a good day) and give it to you. "Just present this at the border, you may need it" - I'm sure I will, and I'm sure the border official will be pretty disappointed when he sees it. It will mean he can't ask me for a few dollars to "facilitate" the issuing of a border crossing permit.

POLICY RECOMMENDATIONS

That's the heading after the conclusions on any of my political science papers, it seems that it would be fitting to include it here:

1) Post the consulate hours of operation on the website.
2)Inform future visitors that there is a limited number of tickets given out each day.
3)Post the Visa requirements for US Residents.
4)Add more cheese to the breakfast tacos.
5)On a second thought, if US Residents are exempt from Visas, why do they even need a certificate? Wouldn't presenting the Green Card at the border be enough?

How to get a Mexican Visa - Day Three

10:30 a.m. Another security guard:
May I help you?
Me: I'm here for a Visa application.
Guard: Do you have a number?
Me: No.
Guard: You need a number. We already gave out all the numbers for today. Come back tomorrow.
Me: Do you know what documents I need to get the Visa?
Guard: No. The number you need is to go to the Information Desk, where they'll tell you what you need.
Me: Gracias.

I suppose I'll be back tomorrow at 7 am. Get a number to the info desk, where they'll probably tell me to come back the day after tomorrow...I'll keep you posted.

How to get a Mexican Visa - Day Two

12:30 p.m. Walk in, and talk to the security guard, who will tell you they close at noon. Please come back tomorrow, they're open from 8 to 12. He does not know the requirements for the Visa, but there is a "billboard" outside that I should check.
The billboard is a faded blown up photocopy half attached to an iron fence, with directions on how to repatriate bodies of diseased mexicans. Hummm...not exactly what I need. I guess I'll be back tomorrow.

How to get a Mexican Visa - Day One

Find the website to the consulate http://www.sre.gob.mx/houston/ to look up the hours of operation and requirements. You will find the following:

"Each individual nationality has got a set of regulations deriving from accords and treaties negotiated, or inexistent, between that particular government and our government. Those agreements deal with each individual immigration status, such as tourists, students, technical personnel, scholarship holders,retirees, company counselors, sometimes clergy, and so forth. These change from time to time according to international situations or renegotiation of certain aspects."

That's really helpful right? There is no mention of what countries have accords, how much the visas are, or what kind of documents are needed to apply for one. Of course, the hours of operation are nowhere to be found either. And the phone number is always busy. So, on day one, you will find out that you have to go to the consulate to ask what it is that you need to get a visa.

Navidad

Christmas was good, dinner was woderful, presents were great. Meet the half of my family living in Houston. I hope everyone is doing well. Feliz Navidad.

Christmas Break

I'll be in Houston for the next few days, so I'll update my blog next week. I hope everyone has a great Christmas!

A A A

I got my grades today : )

I lost 5 lbs in 10 minutes

Today I got a haircut.

Dominoes, Activists, Sparrows, Museums, and Stupids

If all the stupidity of this world could be summarized in a single incident, it would be the killing of a sparrow that, trapped in a building, knocked off 23,000 dominoe pieces that were being lined up to break a "world record". This is what I mean:

1) 100 people worked on this frivolous project, setting up over 4 million dominoes.
2) The four million pieces were to be toppled, and the Guinness World Records organization was to certify the "achievement".
3) A sparrow got trapped in the building and a exterminator was called before the bird jeopardized the project.
4) The exterminator shot the bird.
5) Animal rights activists went nuts, condemning the killing of the bird, and setting up a website in its honour.
6) The organizers of the purposeless dominoe record held a televised memorial for the bird.
7) Authorities kept the body of the bird in a freezer once the issue became a "criminal matter"
8) The exterminator was fined 170 Euros (perhaps the single reasonable action in this chain of events).
9) A museum in Rotterdam will put the bird's body on display over a box of dominoes.
10) It all happened in the Netherlands.

What ever happened to famines, genocide, crime, refugees, torture, global warming? I mean, seriously...100 people? 4 million dominoe pieces? 1 dead bird? a criminal investigation? a televised memorial? a museum exhibit? IN WHAT WORLD DO THESE PEOPLE LIVE? I suppose the more "advanced" a society becomes, the more they remove themselves from reality.

This is the BBC Article where I read the report.

It gets better, I just went to the sparrow's memorial website, and somebody posted this:
"Not a sparrow falls to earth without God's knowledge and concern"
Matthew 10:29

Sigh. Get a life people.

Party's Over

San Antonio Police Department Non-emergency Line, how may I help you?
ME: I would like to report a noise complaint.
SAPD: What is the address? . . .

I suppose I'm getting old and bitter, but I figured 2:45 a.m. was a reasonable time to call the cops after my neighbors from across the pool had probably around 30 people in their apartment, were playing their stereo at full blast and had their doors, windows and balcony wide open, while cars in the parking lot had another party going on and they were chatting with the people from the balcony three stories above. Since 10:00 pm.

I was willing to ignore the whole incident, since I never go to bed before 3:00 am anyways, but then they started playing "Gasolina" and some of that other Daddy Yankee crap. Now, those who know me well are aware that there are some things I would put up with, but tacky latin music is certainly not one of them. In fact, tonight I needed silence, I'm writing a 30 page paper I need to turn in on Tuesday, and I still have quite a bit of research to do.

So I called the cops, grabbed a pack of salt & vinegar chips, a coke, and sat outside my balcony. By the time I was done with my chips, two cop cars pulled up in front of the party, everyone went inside, the music was turned off and peace returned to my neighborhood.

I'm ok with parties, but not when there is complete disregard for the neighbors. Heck, play your music as loud as you want, but at least have the decency of keeping your doors and windows shut. Oh yes, and make sure your guests don't have 30 minute conversations screaming to the top of their lungs with people parked three stories below who seem to have their car stereos in "vibrate" mode (you know, the kind that makes you whole car vibrate when you park next to them at a red light).

Well, I guess it's time to get back to my paper now that I can concentrate again...

That wasn't so bad

I survived my Statistics final. That means I'm still in grad school! Now all I have is one paper left and this semester is over. I needed almost three days to recoup after I took that exam. I walked out of the classroom and went climbing for almost four hours, then I went back home, took a shower, picked up Chinese food at a restaurant and rented the War of the Worlds, then I slept for 12 hours. A much needed break. I don't really have much to post, but I thought I should at least mention that the stupid test is over.

Bad Day

Nothing is funny tonight.
the Whataburger fries taste like Salmon
I found out that "all the tea in China" is less than all the tea in India.
I haven't finished my paper
I haven't started with statistics
I don't want to finish my paper
I don't want to start with statistics
I am running out of ideas for stuff to do to help me avoid starting on my paper
I am running out of time to finish my paper
If and when I finish my paper,
I won't have enough time to finish studying for statistics
I don't care
If and when I finish statistics,
I will barely have enough time to finish my other paper
I sort of care
I only got half of the funding I needed for next year's conference
tonight, it makes no difference
I've never smoked pot
tonight I wish I had
I said I've never smoked pot
shut up, it's not funny

It's 3:30 a.m.
I've been typing this since 2:50 a.m.

apologies to my usual blog readers,
I will post disgruntled posts until finals are over

a shower will do me good

I shall sleep

I hate Salmon

Juan, your palm reveals you are especially good at Exploring your psychic ability

Oh, the things I do when I don't want to study...But, man! They guessed it right! "I am especially good at exploring my psychic ability!" I wonder how they can KNOW so much about me! Do you think they might have realized it by the fact that I spent 15 minutes on their website answering stupid questions about which way my "love line" bents towards and whether my pinkies were straight or bent? Perhaps they might have drawn additional information from the fake Social Security Number I provided them with?

I am amazed at how accurate these results are! These free online palm readings really work. Of course if I want a "detailed" report it would no longer be free, but, I mean, if they already know SO MUCH about me, I can only imagine all the things they would be able to tell me!

Ok, I must admit I once paid $40 for having my palm read. Yes, I know, I know, you can get them for $5, but that day it was somewhere around 3 a.m. when we pulled over at the palm-reading place, and the palm-reading lady was awakened by a not-very-sober couple knocking on her window asking if she was open for business. I guess I deserved it. (Did I mention that, since I only had $37 in my pocket I offered to leave my now ex-girlfriend as a "deposit" while I ran to the ATM?) - The lady said we could leave, so I walked out of there thinking we had gotten a great deal.

Don't Drink and Palm-Read. It's bad Karma, I read it in my horoscope.

$300.71

And that's only for the books for two classes; I am waiting on one professor to give me his list. I suppose the total will be around $400 or $450... It looks like I'll be raiding the library. I'm not going to spend all that money in books.

iTunes & Coffee

Good Morning.

8:30 a.m. Not bad. I only snoozed my clock seven times this morning, I guess I should do that when I really need to get up, set the alarm early and account for an hour of snoozing. As I said last night, nevermind that last post. I just had an orange juice, peanut butter and jam toasts, and I am now sipping on my coffee as I listen to NPR's story of the day. And yes, it's sunny outside and all that good stuff. Oh, and I created a new smart playlist on iTunes called "90 days", it includes only songs I haven't heard in 90 days or more...that seems to take care of the faulty "randomness" which is never really random and plays some songs over and over while ignoring others. It's beautiful, as soon as the song is over it gets purged from the list, and when 90 days have gone by it will be included again.
Well, it's Monday. Two finals this week, including my beloved Statistics class. By Thursday I'll know if I failed or passed with an A...humm... I really don't care anymore.
Enough Blogging for today, at least for right now...Something tells me I'll be back this afternoon.

Ignore Me Tonight

Some days I just feel like I don't really care that much about politics. The whole world can go to hell, I just want to sip from my warm cup of tea, take a hot shower, go to bed and listen to Sigur Ros until I fall asleep.
Perhaps tomorrow I can get up, finish my stupid papers, study for my finals, and get this semester over with. Then I should throw a pair of jeans and two t-shirts in my backpack and take a bus south, cross the border and take 753 pictures. Don't ask me why I picked that number, what difference does it make?
Maybe tomorrow I can save the world, figure out whether Non-Self Governing Territories will achieve independence in the next decade, understand what the hell is a standardized multiple regression and why should I even give a damn about it, and call the ex-ambassador of Venezuela to see if I can go do research in Caracas next summer. My dear friend, I finally understand what you meant when you were disenchanted with Poli Sci; it can really get to you some times.
I think I'm just going to teach, and have my summers off, and make 35k a year. And I don't give a damn what anybody else thinks. In fact, I don't even want comments on this post, so they're not allowed. And probably tomorrow I'll read this again and ask myself: mi mismo, what was I thinking? And I'll have an irresistible urge to delete this post. But I wont, because...Well, because I won't. And when I wake up it will be a sunny day, and the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees and blah, blah, blah.

I'm sorry if I'm grouchy tonight. Give me a break. Let's just pretend I have my period ok? It's not important, really.

Good night

I've seen this guy before...

After I saw my grandfather's pictures last week, one of them reminded me of a shot that photographer Will Michaels took of me several years ago. The thought stuck in my head for a few days until I decided to email him. He still had the pictures and was kind enough to send them to me. I suppose there are several similarities, and the interesting thing is that until last week I had never seen pictures of my grandfather as a young man (he passed away when my mother was still a child), so I feel a bit odd seeing this person I never met and recognizing that there is a bit of him in me.
Both you and I will see them side by side for the first time right now, as soon as I click "publish post," since I decided to blog about this as soon as I got Will's email.

And I Thought Spanglish Was Bad...

"just don't touch the wires please"

Engrish.com posts funny translations of signs in Asian languages, mostly from the Japanese. Be advised, you might get sucked in and spend hours in here, make sure you finish anything you need to get done today before visiting this website.

Wine for Your Cheese

"Wine for Your Cheese" is the name I gave to the first problem (route) I set on the climbing wall. I guess after setting a few problems it stops been noteworthy, but being my first, I figured at least it deserved to be blogged for posterity. It's a nice warm-up/endurance problem meant to be worked after finishing "The Real Cheese" (hence the name), which goes all the way around the climbing wall. Neither one of them makes you go any higher than a couple of feet at most, but they're long and are good starters for your day at the gym. "Wine" has nineteen moves if I remember well, and if done after "Cheese" you will probably end up pretty worked out.
Now all that's left is for me to wait until Wednesday or Thursday to see what other climbers think!

Sick, Semi-Conscious {SNOOZE} Pleasure

I have a confession to make.
I can snooze my alarm clock for over four hours.
I get a sick pleasure out of the semi-consciousness taking place during the few seconds when I get up, press the snooze button, realize I CAN go back to bed, feel the warmth of my comforter, wiggle my toes and fall asleep again, only to be awaken ten minutes later and {SNOOZE} realize I CAN go back to bed, feel the warmth of my comforter, wiggle my toes and fall asleep again, only to be awaken ten minutes later and {SNOOZE} realize I CAN... six times per hour, for four hours.
I think I would do it longer, but my alarm clock gives up after the 24th time I snooze it. Maybe I should complain to the manufacturer.

Not the same post from a couple of days ago.

Can't think of what to give me for Christmas?
Are you a friend or aqcuaintance not willing to spend more than $6.99 on me? Get your cheap Christmas present out of the way and make me happy all at the same time! Click here!

Note: this post was originally entitled "Need I say more?" and published on November 30th. But since I've posted several times and it didn't stay for long at the top of my blog I decided to give it some more "front page" exposure. I can't wait until I get my citizenship to be able to vote. I wonder who's going to run against those two.

"The Table of Doubt and Confusion"

A beautiful image by Andrei Codrescu, NPR's "Poet on Call". This is what he calls our everyday problems, I guess we all have one of those tables around our house. Listen to the story here, or, if you have trouble accessing it, go directly to the website. Come on, it's just four and a half minutes; give it a try, you'll love the ending too.